Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A Letter.....

Dear Judgmental Mommy,

I want to thank you for making my life just a little more difficult today than it really had to be.  Not that it was a walk in the park by any means before you crossed my path.  But you wouldn't know that, would you?  Because you don't really care one way or the other.  You just like to jump in and make faces or make comments or whisper behind my back because you just can't help yourself.  I get it.  I do.  It's easy to stand there and judge because I don't deal with my child the same way you deal with yours.  But let me tell you, you don't deal with what I deal with.

You don't deal with a child whose self-esteem lands in the toilet when she makes a very simple and correctable mistake.  You don't know what it's like to watch your child work SO HARD to get something right and then fall to pieces when it doesn't go that way.  You don't have a child who struggles with the anxiety my child deals with day after day and hour after hour.  You don't know what it's like to already feel like a failure as a parent because you can't save your child from her biggest obstacle: herself. 

So thank you for just standing there today while my child had a meltdown that a child of 5 might have instead of a child of 8.  Thank you for giving her dirty looks that, thankfully, only I saw.  Thank you for looking at your own "perfect" child and saying "you know how she is" as if she was a criminal rather than a child having a difficult time. 

Thank you.  Truly.  Because of course it's really a very simple thing to explain to an 8-year-old why an adult hates her.  Now, maybe you don't hate her.  But that's the impression she gets.  Of course, that's one of her difficulties.  She sees things in black and white.  There's nothing else for her.  And every once in a while I get the idea that she's got it correctly.  Forget the shades of gray.  You're either a help or a hindrance.  Guess which camp I think you fall into.

Now, if there were ever a time you'd like to offer something constructive or helpful, rather than snide comments and judgmental looks, feel free.  Until then, don't do it where I have to witness it.  It just makes my day worse.  And you don't know the kind of day I've already had.


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