What do all these ladies have in common? They all have brown hair. Why is this important? Well......
I was blow drying Little Miss' hair after her shower last night - much to her dismay since she hates having her hair dried - when she started to complain about her hair color. "It's just brown. I hate brown!" But, LM, your hair is beautiful. (And it really is. I'm not just saying this as a Proud Mama, though of course, I am a Proud Mama, as far as the physical goes, the Kiddo gets complimented on her eyes and her hair ALLLLLL the time.)
"I hate *just brown* hair."
Sweetie, your hair isn't *just brown*, you've got these great golden highlights in your hair that shine when
the light hits them.
"But I can't SEE the golden in my hair anymore!"
Well, that's because it's winter and your hair is a little darker now.
"And that's the problem!!"
So I go through all of the women in her life and who she likes on tv and in music who all have brown hair. But here's the kicker. I can't even turn around and say, "Hey, *I* have brown hair!" because HELLO I dye my hair! I spend $80 every two months to color my hair red. I had hair pretty much the same color as LM when I was young. But it got darker over the years. And since my natural skin tone is paler than pale, it tended to make me look washed out. So, I went in a totally different direction (and we won't talk about the grey hair that I kept finding!!) and went red. It's fun to be a redhead for a while. I've been a redhead for about a year.
But now here's my daughter down on herself for something physical. For something absolutely beautiful that she just can't see. And I feel like I can't argue with her because I change what nature gave me!! UGH! How do I convince her that she's perfect just the way she is when I change something physical about myself to something I like better?
It's bad enough that I'm having to deal with self-esteem issues at 8. And really, we talk all the time about how it's more important to be pretty inside than to be pretty outside. That it's about what you do, not what you look like. But the simple fact is, there are mirrors in this world. And anyone who has looked into a mirror and hated what they saw there, knows what a difficult thing that is. It doesn't matter if you're 8, 18, or 38. It's all the same. So yes, there are more important things in the world to worry about than what color your hair is but for that moment, all that mattered for my Little Miss was what color her hair was.
Hello parenting landmine. Kaboom!