Thursday, June 7, 2012

Ex-BFF

I got an odd text two days ago.  Little Miss' BFF's Mom (my friend S) texted me to say that BFF told her on the way home from school that she no longer wants to be LM's friend.  She claims that nothing happened, that no one did anything, it's just that she's not feeling the friendship anymore.  Ok.  Huh.  This is after a sleepover and family birthday party this past weekend.  This is after multiple hugs for both Hubby and I from BFF at field day the other day.  This was just an out of the blue thing.  Now, BFF has been acting strangely since two things happened (nearly at the same time), her mom went back to work - which means that BFF is woken up at 5 a.m. to drive her mom to work (the family only has one car) and she's usually not in bed until 9 or 10 at night.....the other is that the parents started talking about moving up north to be closer to S's parents.  BFF has been mega-moody (more than usual).  So maybe it's *not* out of the blue, I don't know.  I thought it was just BFF being moody and tired and whatnot.  Apparently not.

So yesterday LM comes home from school and says, "I asked BFF if we were still friends, and she said, didn't your mom tell you?"  So first of all, after 4 years of these two being BFFs, this girl thinks that *I* am going to be the one to end this friendship for her?  OH HELLZ NO!!  Second, I think it was incredibly mature of LM to be very up front about the whole issue by asking point blank what was wrong and what was going on.  I did explain that XBFF is apparently going through something at the moment and really just wants to take a break from their friendship for a while (Thank God that summer vacation is 6 days away!!!!!).  LM took it well (better than I'd anticipated) but I know that it's still right there under the surface.  There's going to be some major fallout from this and now we're just waiting for the fallout to occur.  But as it stands, she's trying to be very strong about the whole thing.  It's not going to be pretty when the fallout happens.

Yesterday I got a text from S saying that even if the girls aren't friends that she would like to still be friends with me so we can chat and whatnot.  Sure, yes, she's a very good friend of mine.  But, and I think this is pretty expected, I'm a little upset at this point and have hit Protective Mama mode.  I'm looking out for my kid at this point.  She has to come first.  So I said, of course, we still love them (though XBFF is NOT my favorite person at this moment) and how I think everything is going to depend on what degree of 'not friends' they end up at.  I'm hoping they don't end up enemies.  I also explained to her that I was disappointed in how XBFF expected ME to tell LM about her decision.  S hadn't known about that so, ok, whatever. As I told her, just trying to go with the flow here.


Then on top of it all, LM says that XBFF is telling the other girls in school that she's quitting Girl Scouts.  Really?  Well that's news to me since I'm her Troop Leader!  It would have been nice if she could have told us that before telling her classmates.  I know it's wrong to be angry with a 9 year old.  I do.  But I'm feeling so annoyed with XBFF.  For 4 years I have called her my second daughter.  And I feel like we have all been betrayed, not just LM.  Ugh. 

2 comments:

  1. Girl drama, sucks! Sounds like LM can do better. Invite a different friend over for her to hang with and see how a real friend acts. Yes, I'm sure girl is going through a lot, but wth! And the mom all "can we be friends even if the girls aren't anymore?" I mean, what person says that? It should be more like "I'm sure this will blow over. Want to get a glass of wine tonight and agree to not talk about girls?" Isn't this the same woman with scouts that got all crazy before? I think you both deserve better friends. Poor LM though. I've seen girls do this before, and it always hurts. :( -- Amy

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  2. It sucks. They haven't been together since school let out. So it's been about two weeks. I got a message from the Mom the other day that said her daughter misses Little Miss and wants a playdate with her this week. Hmmmmm. Forgive me if I'm a little skeptical. I think XBFF is realizing that she doesn't have too many friends at this point. It's too bad. So I think they will be getting together at some point this afternoon. But I'll be keeping a close eye on them. And there will be another friend in the mix as well. So we'll see how it goes.

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