Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Finding Support in all the Right Places

There are lots of people in the world who will judge based on their own perceptions before learning the situation.  As a mom, often, the most difficult of critics are the other moms.  However, occasionally you find that one person who understands and loves your child just as much as you do and vows to support your child in the way you would, yourself.  I discovered one of those people recently.

Missy invited her bff to spend the night on a Friday night.  She did, and the girls had a blast together.  It was 4th of July weekend so we were able to take the girls to see some fireworks and have a grand old time before they settled down for a movie and popcorn and lights out.  When bff's mom (I'm going to call her Alice) came to pick bff up on Saturday afternoon, they invited Missy to sleep over at their house that night.  Now, we've done double sleepovers before and it generally doesn't go well but since Missy didn't make it through their last sleepover and needed to come home, she really wanted to give it a try.  ("Mom, Bff was so disappointed when I went home last time and I really want to sleep over there tonight.")  It was sweet.

So try she did.  But 10:30 came and my phone rang.  Missy was in tears, freaking out, wanting to come home.  For a split second I considered going to pick her up.  But then I said no.  I reminded her that she was perfectly safe, that she had slept at bff's house plenty of times and she should try her deep breathing and try again.  After the phone call, I was texting with Alice.  Alice was my saving grace that night.

She and her husband talked with Missy at length, calming all her fears, reassuring her and doing everything they could to make her feel comfortable. Alice reminded me over and over how much they loved Missy and wanted to make sure they did everything they could do for her to help her face her fears and overcome them. They were so incredible, I was actually in tears during this texting conversation.  

There will be a lot of people in Missy's life (outside of Castle Scarlett) who won't understand her anxiety.  There will be people who shy away from her because they don't know how to accept her.  But for now, she has Alice and her family who love and accept her and encourage and support her.  How much more does a person really need?

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